Leorio Gets Wreckt
by pennylessz
Summary: [Previously titled "Gon Gets Wreckt"] The wonderfully offensive story of Gon on Whale Island is back. Garunteed to be one of the most disturbing and idiotic reads of your lifetime. Grasp your loli firmly, and join me in this putrid adventure.
1. Gon Gets Wreckt

One day it was bright and beautiful on Whale Island, barely a single cloud in the sky.

Gon is sitting at the edge of a rock fishing as he usually would be.

Suddenly there's a tug on the line, Gon quickly jolts it up with animal like reflexes.

"YAAAAAAATTTTAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" Yells Gon as what appears to be a giant fish comes barreling out of the water.

The look of excitement on Gon's face however quickly melts away as he realizes the squirming creature at the end of his pole is actually Hisoka.

Today Hisoka is sporting a pure white frilly wedding dress (As he commonly sports) and is staring at Gon like a Jew stares at a pile of gold.

"Hisoka, can't you find someone else to bother today? I just finished being raped by every living creature on the island ten minutes ago" States Gon unabatedly.

"No, aueegh" Hisoka holds the back of his wrist to his forehead. "I simply can't, see...I was on this island ten minutes ago."

Gon looks at Hisoka intently as his scared and confused meter begins to rise.

"You must let me rape you Gon, for the good of all of us." Hisoka insists.

"But the animals on this island are my friends, they've lived here since I was born, I don't owe you anything."

"Non, non Gon, but oh you do...Indeed, it would appear I've lived on this island silently fapping to you since your father dropped you off here." Hisoka retorts snidely.

"My Father, Ging? You mean Ging right? GING? YOU KNOW GING!? GIIIINNGGGGG!? GGGGGGGGGGIIINNNNNNGGGGGGGGXOXOXOXO AAAAAAHHHHHHHH WHERE IS GING?! NGNGNGNGNG!?" Gon replies softly and with all forms of composure.

"Yes, I do Gon, he's in my asshole, you should reach inside." Hisoka whispers with narrowed eyes as his gay ass smile intensifies.

Gon begins to reach inside Hisoka's asshole but somehow gets spooked by a fox or some shit, and he jumps straight in, this strikes Hisoka's G spot and Hisoka covers the entire island in bungee cum...there were no survivors.

Once inside Hisoka's asshole Gon begins rubbing his head and observing his surroundings, "GING!? GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!?" Gon whispers with the softest of voices.

Suddenly, amongst the pink and brown walls Gon notices a door. Upon stepping through the door Gon's scared and confused meter reaches its peak, and he begins to shit uncontrollably. For what he sees on the other side of the door, is Morel...wearing gardening attire...sitting at a poker table.

"I've been waiting for you Gon." Morel says coolly as he sets down a card, adjusts his frillly hat, and takes a sip of lukewarm lemonade.

"You see, Ging stationed me to wait in here for you, I am of course, a clone, but I have an important message." Morel smiles and says this with his gravest tone.

"GING!? GIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG!? GGGGGIIINNNGNNNNIIIIGGGGG!? AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!?" Gon thinks to himself as he flails uncontrollably with rag doll like physics, knocking all the cards off the poker table, as well as spilling lemonade all over Morel's dick.

Morel begins to weep softly before starting with the rest of the warning." Gi- I mean...your father says, don't go inside Hisoka's asshole. Come to think of it, why did he tell me to tell you that if we're already here?"

"Anyway, after being in here for...ten years at least, I'm gonna go ahead and get out of here." Morel activates his smoky ass and then dissipates into a cloud of nothingness.

Gon finally stops flailing when he sees another door, it appears that Gon's violent shitting from earlier actually formed a new door behind him. This was of course, no doubt, part of Ging's plan.

While Gon begins walking the eighty-seven miles required to reach the new door, a new scene is unfolding outside.

"Hisoka, if you don't tell me what you did with Gon, I'm going to have Leorio fight you." Threatens Killua as he clenched his fist/butthole with a look of absolute seriousness on his face.

Upon hearing this, Hisoka's face turns to a look of sheer terror.

"No, anything but that! It would be so boring I might die!" Hisoka yells as he begins to shit himself uncontrollably from fear.

"Hey, I could kick your ass any day you shitty pink clown!" Leorio shouts while pointing for some reason. "And it would be so intense you wouldn't even have time to be scared enough to start shitting!" Leorio's posturing makes Hisoka chuckle a little, but inevitably he gets so bored he starts jacking off to the rock Gon was sitting on.

Killua seems to be intensely stumped, but suddenly his look turns to surprise as he notices a door made of shit on the ground.

Killua urges Leorio to go with him inside the door to save Gon, but upon hearing the words "Save Gon." Leorio gets so triggered he begins eating shit off the ground for some reason.

Killua shrugs his shoulders realizing this could go on for several hours, and he begins following the nuclear shit trail Hisoka left to the door that's somehow well over sixty miles away.

Gon has, in the three-minute interlude, finished walking all eighty-seven miles. This is of course, in spite of the fact, that he was walking about three miles per hour.

As he reaches for the door handle, Gon's animal senses pick up a strong aura from the other side of the door. His eyes narrow into a look of intensity, and as he opens the door his look of intensity turns into a look of sheer horror, then of sheer intensity, then back to horror, then he gets scared and confused again and begins shitting uncontrollably.

On this side of the door Gon is witnessing Youpi raping Pouf, raping Pitou, raping Meruem, raping that faggy nerd from the Hunter exam for some reason.

By witnessing this, Gon has come to two stunning realizations. Firstly, he's getting pretty damn sick of rape, and secondarily, he previously squashed Pitou's organs, skinned her, and made a fur coat which he is now wearing.

Gon begins noping the fuck out and walks towards the next door, when he notices a little girl playing some sort of board game off in the distance. He would sit down to play with her, but Gon ain't got time for dat shit. He proceeds to jack that loli and heads for the door.

Meruem is startled by his prized loli being stolen by a tiny shota, he would applaud the bravery, however he is now too busy dealing with the biggest rage boner of his entire life.

Pouf promptly asks his majesty if he may suck him off, but instead receives a tail burrowed so far up his asshole it pulls out his pink sock. The chase begins.

Meanwhile...

"I'm surprised you actually made it to the door Leorio, no less at the same time as me." Killua says as he smirks back at Leorio.

"Well, I'm a master shit eater, and all the shit was leading to this one point." Leorio answers as he rubs the back of his head.

The two of them open the door and take their first steps inside.

The first thing visible in the room is Kuropika, Killua takes a step back aghast at what he's seeing. However he's upstaged be Leorio who is not only shitting uncontrollably but catching it and eating it at the same time.

Kuropika is standing in the corner masturbating furiously to a tied and bound Chrollo who looks intensely fearful, which is uncharacteristic to say the least.

"Kuropika, what the hell are you doing here?" Killua can't help to shout because he's just so surprised.

"I was told by Ging t-..."

"GI-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-INNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGG!" Gon interrupts as he flies across the room and out the door.

Kuropika is struggling to regain his composure, but he really has no idea what's going on.

Things get even more weird when Meruem comes dashing through with Pouf strung along by the anus, Youpi trying to grab hold of Pouf's arm and...wait, where's Pitou?

It appears Pitou has reverted to a pile of well tenderized meat.

Ging somehow awaits Gon on the other side of the door, holding a bouquet of flowers, and a box of chocolates. Unfortunately for Ging, Gon is in such a frenzy that as he runs by he dickslaps him in the face and begins astro boying the fuck off turtle island.

Ging weeps gently on the ground, his incest pedophile dreams crushed.

But Meruem's pedophile dreams live to see another day, he drops Pouf off his tail onto Ging's fetal positioned body, Pouf is now also weeping gently.

Komugi begins biting Gon in the dick because she's fucking cranky, and wants her humanoid ant creature third cousin twice removed from Cell. This buys Meruem enough time to catch up.

"Give me back my loli!" Shouts Meruem with an enraged voice, face, and boner.

"I can't, she's the plot device!" Gon yells back with surprisingly similar energy.

Meruem is taken aback, "What the hell is a plot device?" he ponders this to himself for the next fourteen days while sitting in his castle.

Gon sits in a desert somewhere sulking, he wanted to have sex with Komugi, but he can't seem to find her penis. He thought for sure she'd be just like Killua.

Killua, Kuropika, and Leorio died on whale island due to radiation from Hisoka's jizz.

Hisoka walked over and comforted Ging. "In due time my friend, we must wait, the seed will blossom soon." They proceeded to bungee gum swing off the island before the rest of it was engulfed in salty tears and other such salty things.

Oh and Chrollo died of dehydration.

At this moment, Meruem approaches Gon in the desert..."You must tell me what a plot device is, not a single book in the world can tell me." Meruem commands calmly.

"Oh, well...I'm not sure, I think I made it up." Gon laughs and rubs his back.

Meruem realizes he just wasted two entire weeks of loli time, and begins turning into a blonde bara.

Gon turns into his bara form and they begin having the smack down of the century.

This battle would have contained many details, but unfortunately after only a few minutes the world was annihilated by a black hole.

It appears Zushi has finally finished building his doomsday device...


	2. Leorio Gets Wreckt

Once again, Gon sat by himself, on Whale Island.

He was on a rock, staring into the waves below.

"I'm sure glad Zushi's doomsday device backfired, truly, it was the only way the plot could continue. And of course, the grammar magically improved too."

"Gon," whispered a voice behind him, poking him in the back.

He turned around to see Illumi disguised as a ham sandwich.

"Have you seen Killua?" said Illumi.

"Why are you a ham sandwich?" asked Gon.

"Shut the fuck up," whispered ham sandwich, err, Illumi. "I need to bring him home for some arbitrary reason, such as male prostitution."

"And how does that factor into being a ham sandwich?" asked Gon.

Illumi placed a hand on Gon's shoulder and bitch slapped him into the ocean.

Gon screamed like a faggot all the way down, completely ignoring the fact that he was some kind of freak mutant.

He impacted the water, and proceeded to resurface.

Illumi stared down at him silently, then walked off to do some other assassin thing.

Gon heard something moving in the water next to him.

When he turned, he saw what looked like a shark.

"Oh crap, I'm suddenly afraid of sharks." Gon thrashed around in the water violently.

The shark's fin rose up, revealing it was Hisoka masquerading as a shark.

"Oh, it's just you Hisoka." Gon laughed in relief, trying to conceal his fear boner.

"Noooo, I'm not Hisoka, I'm just a friendly, super fuckable shark." Hisoka bobbed up and down in the water.

Gon winced. "Sorry Hisoka, but I don't like shar-"

"Fuck me Gon," Hisoka interrupted.

"I'm not goi-"

"Slurp up my nards, mm, tasty, take in my fish gnads."

Gon cringed so hard, his face literally turned into a lemon.

"EAAAAAAUUUUUGGGHHH," Hisoka cried out. "Not lemons, I HATE those." He shot bungie cum at the cliffside. "I'm leaving for three and a half minutes." He slingshotted himself into a tree and died on impact.

"Wow, that was stupid," muttered Gon.

"Hey, Gon, get your ass up here," yelled Leorio from the cliffside. "I have to save you to prove I have friends!"

"But you don't have any friends!" Gon retorted.

"Get your ass up here before I beat the shit out of you!" Leorio wagged his fist like a dumbass.

"Okay!" Gon exploded out of the water, colliding with the same tree Hisoka hit. His body brushed against Hisoka's.

Some people say, Hisoka's love for Gon was so strong, he revived immediately and whisked Gon away that day.

The true story was that Hisoka's body got flung into the air.

"Hey guys, guess who's here that didn't show up in the original chapter?" Knuckle stepped out from behind a tree.

Gon jumped up and bolted to Knuckle. "Knukuru, we missed you-"

Hisoka fell, ass first, onto knuckle, swallowing his entire body.

"Well, I guess he's dead now." Gon shrugged.

Leorio started sobbing uncontrollably. "He was my only friend." He wiped snot on his sleeve."

"Did you even really know him?" asked Gon.

"Well..." Leorio thought to himself.

"In fact, have you even done a single God damn thing to help anyone, in the last, hundred some odd fucking chapters?"

"There was that one thing I-"

"Oh ho ho ho," chortled someone behind them.

Gon turned around to see Netero. "Chairumaneru, you aru arraivu," he said.

"Pipe down, with all that weeb shit, boi."

"Sorry." Gon rubbed his back aggressively. "But how are you alive?"

"Well, luckily, Zushi's doomsday device somehow brought me back to life."

"It's great to see you." Gon's back rub intensified.

"Yes, it appears I was shafted in the last chapter, by an incompetent writer."

Leorio glared at Netero.

Netero continued, "I mean, Meruem was somehow alive, but I wasn't? That's bull."

"Why are you here though?" Gon started peeling off his back skin, presumably out of happiness.

"Well, Whale Island is by far the easiest setting to write in, and we all know nothing cool's going to happen, like another hunter exam."

Leorio pointed at Netero. "Old man, I'll kick the shit out of you if you keep fourth walling!"

Netero laughed hysterically. "You couldn't kick the shit out of a trash can."

Leorio pointed at Netero with all his might, even making other retarded movements too, but to no avail. He sulked with his hands down. "I thought this fan fiction was supposed to be 'Gon gets wreckt'."

"Nobody gives a shit, fag boi. In fact, just for that, I'm changing the name of the fanfic to 'Leorio gets wreckt.'"

Leorio flew into a fit of rage, and pointed at Netero so hard, he accidentally poked himself in the eye and died immediately.

Netero chuckled again. "They're dropping like Pouf's around here."

"Did somebody call my glorious name!?" Pouf flew out from behind a rock.

"God dammit," said Netero. "Not this gay shit."

Pouf stopped in his knob slurping tracks and stared at the chairman. "Excuse me, but do you have a problem with me?"

Netero stayed silent, preparing his flyswatter.

"EUGH," Pouf noticed the flyswatter. "You arrogant little worm!"

Pouf formed into a ton of tiny fagmen and charged Netero.

Netero assumed his meditation position, and summoned his stand...er, I mean. He used his "Ninety-Ninth Hand" technique. He incorporated the fly swatter, and destroyed all the tiny annoying pests. This included obliterating Leorio's body, because Leorio is useless.

"It appears I have concluded my mission. That clearly wasn't a use of excessive force," said Netero.

Just then, a harmless butterfly landed on Netero's arm.

Netero screamed in agony as his entire arm just fell off and landed on the ground, crushing Gon's ballsack.

Gon began screaming in unison with Netero. He then snapped into a blind fit of rage. Just before launching himself at Netero, he turned around and injected himself with steroids. He then propelled himself at him.

He screamed. "I AM CLEARLY ANGRY AT YOU, AND NOT JUST LOOKING FOR AN EXCUSE TO USE STEROIIIIIIIIDDDSSSS!"

Gon rarely ever actually won a fight, and this time was ALMOST no exception.

However, as Gon missed tackling Netero, one hair follicle on Gon's head slightly brushed Netero's other arm.

Netero's arm flew off into space and hit the moon, knocking it into the sun.

Netero screamed so loud, he broke his own ears and turned into a pile of ash.

Gon landed on the ground. "Aw man, all my friends are dying."

"Not me," came a familiar chortle.

Gon turned around and saw Hisoka standing there once again.

"Oh come on, didn't you just die!?" said Gon.

"Yes, but, my dear Gon. After death, I miraculously consumed an entire person with my ass. And thus, by the logic of fuck all, I have been revived."

"That's even stupider than the Dragon Balls!" shouted Gon.

"Oh, yes Gon!" Hisoka girated his hips. "You can drag my balls."

Gon's mouth contorted into a cannon like shape, then he rapid fired lemons out of his mouth.

"Lemons, my worst enemy!" Hisoka scooped one of Leorio's hands off the ground and pointed it at Gon. "We shall meet again, but only after I see a therapist."

Hisoka then shot bungie cum out of his urethra, at the pile of dead Pouf's, using it to hurl himself into the sun.

As Gon used his infinite Anime vision to watch Hisoka burn up, he was sure of only one thing, somehow, Hisoka was still alive.

Gon began walking back to his house. "I wonder where Killua is, my ass could use a good reaming."

Meruem darted out in front of him from the bushes. "Have you seen my rehashed plot point?" He coughed. "I mean, have you seen my loli?"

"That's all you think about isn't it?" asked Gon.

Meruem was taken aback by this question, he returned to his castle to think about how that's all he thinks about.

"I like that guy." Gon scraped the meat off of his back.

Meanwhile, on some tropical beach somewhere.

"I've almost finished repairs on my doomsday device," said Zushi as he smacked a hunk of metal with a trout.

"Great job Zushi!" said Wing as he patted Zushi on the ass.

"Can I go home now?" cried Komugi.

"No," said Zushi. "You will stand here and help me build this doomsday device."

"But, I'm blind."

"Yeah, and I'm being molested by my teacher and father figure, we all have problems."

A line of snot dripped from Komugi's nose, this happened just as the shadow beasts had come to rescue her for no apparent reason, they emerged from the sand, because where else would they come from? And got devastated by Komugi's snot. All the flesh melted off their skin, as they faded out of existence, one of them, it doesn't really matter which one, said, "If only we weren't...such weak cucks."

"Aw, I liked them," said Gon.

Zushi looked at Gon in horror. "Gon, how did you get here from the other place I somehow knew you were at?"

Gon scratched his head. "Oh, I road Cheetu."

Gon was in fact, still sitting on Cheetu's back.

"Just you wait," growled Cheetu. "Soon, I'm going to make you chase after me for no reason at all, it's going to be a tremendous waste of time for everyone."

"Not so fast," said Kite, appearing from whatever random place characters appear from when you've written too many. "I'm going to stop you Chimera scum, and destroy this doomsday device.

"But, I like Cheetu," said Gon.

"Not so fast," said a Pitou steak, hopping off a nearby grill. "I believe we have unfinished business."

Kite winced. "Eh, I mean. Last time I fought you, at least you were hot."

The steak quivered or some shit, I mean, what the fuck can a steak do?

"I'm a guy," it said.

"Oh..." Kite grimaced. "Guess that's why I was sent to hell."

Cheetu flipped Gon off his back, Gon landed on his balls, which happened to hit Hisoka's face instead of the sand.

"For the love of christ!" shouted Gon.

Hisoka made obnoxious slurping noises, savoring Gon's salty nuts.

"I guess I'll take Pitou, you take Cheetu," said Kite.

Gon pried his balls out of Hisoka's mouth with a crowbar. "We're going to fight Pitou? I like Pitou."

Kite face palmed. "No Gon, no you fucking don't."

Gon put his finger to his chin. "No, I think I pretty much like everyone except for Hisoka."

Hisoka's obnoxiously loud sobs dampened the sand around him.

Kite was pretty fucking fed up with the dumbasses surrounding him, he decided to focus on Pitou instead of worrying about Gon and Hisoka's marital problems.

Pitou was looking fierce, grilled to perfection, perhaps at the top of her game.

Kite stared her down.

Illumi flew by in a hot air balloon, with Killua tied to the front.

Chrollo flew by in another hot air balloon, followed by Kuropika in his own balloon, he was sporting his classic bdsm gear.

Kite's concentration broke. "For the love of God, can this just end already?"

"It'll end alright, for you, " sizzled Pitou. She jumped at him.

"Oh shit, that's one deliciously powerful steak." Kite used his crazy slots ability.

Pitou somehow stopped in mid air. "Really, that again? This is gonna be too easy."

Crazy slots rolled a ten.

"Holy mother of God." Kite's mouth dropped open. "What happens now?"

Kite's astonishment was interrupted by a massive hamster inching its way out of his urethra.

"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" screamed the hamster as its head was freed.

Kite's astonishment turned to absolute fury. "THAT'S THE GOD DAMN FUCKING TRUE POWER OF CRAZY SL-"

It was then that the hamster burst out of his urethra, devouring the entire planet, galaxy, universe, and even I, the narrator. In fact, as I sit here, in my dying moments, I can only think of two things. The absolute deliciousness that must be a Pitou steak, and...why the fuck wasn't Morel in this chapter?


	3. Morel Gets Wreckt

One day Leorio sat, typing out a fanfic on Whale Island.

"Hey Leorio, why are you alive again?" said Gon, as he speared sea fish with his dick.

"I'm having a bit of a conundrum." Leorio placed his hand on his chin, pretending to think. "Somebody asked me to write a new chapter of this fic."

"I thought that was the narrator's job."

"Yes, but he's an inconsistent faggot. And he's having one major problem."

"What's that?" As Gon drew his full attention to Leorio, Hisoka slowly inched his mouth up Gon's thirty meter spear cock.

"He hasn't seen Hunter x Hunter in nearly two years." Leorio drove a pencil into his brain for no reason.

"Why doesn't he just half ass it?" Hisoka made it up to the base of Gon's shaft, beginning to run his grotesque pedo hands over his nipples.

"That's what he did last time, it wouldn't make a lot of sense." Leorio took a cyanide capsule.

"So you're writing it for him?" Hisoka perched on Gon's head and laid an egg.

"No, I'm actually writing a Pokèmon furry fic." Leorio reached for his hand cannon, to blow his face off.

"WHAAAAAAAAA!?" Just as Hisoka had nearly lured Gon into his pedo van, Gon jumped into action. Slamming his anus into Leorio's face.

"What the fuck was that for!?" Leorio pointed in all directions.

Just then, the police pulled around them. As Hisoka sobbed jealously.

"Officers, I swear, I didn't touch him." Leorio pointed his hands up.

"Shut up, you sick bastard." A three year old boy ran up to him and pinned him to the ground with ease. "We know you're writing furry porn!"

"It can't be!" Leorio flailed his fingers around, penetrating several people on accident.

"How dare you not share with us!" The officers shouted in unison as they shot his limbs off.

"I was gonna...post it." Leorio died, but not really. Because then his suffering would be over.

The bushes rumbled nearby, Meruem stepped out once more. "I have finished thinking for the time being. It's time to be an interesting character."

"Or, we could talk about children." Hisoka chortled.

Meruem scoffed. "Unlike you, I have taste."

"Oh please, we're all a little gay." Hisoka threw up fourteen tonnes of child pornagraphy.

"Not that, I only date blind children." Meruem snatched up the images of children that appeared visually impaired.

Hisoka reeled. "Non, non Gon! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He spasmed as his head shot out more versions of himself, all of whom attached themselves to Gon. "I must blind you for the sake of inclusion."

Leorio's arms pointed at the cops from a bush nearby. "Aren't you gonna do something about this!?"

The cops swapped child pornagraphy like trading cards, and began setting up a kiosk for distribution.

The Hisoka 2000 took form, a massive intimidating robot, in the shape of Gon's ass. "I have memorized every last inch of this butt as I hid in Gon's toilet!" He charged at Meruem.

Meruem needed to contemplate the idea of fighting Hisoka, so he retreated back into the depths of his mother's basement. There, he spent his time eating pizza rolls and delivering freedom to the uninformed masses on 4chan.

"For once, I have the ability to appear in this fanfic!" Knuckle rushed in.

Gon screamed. "KNUUUCCCKKKUUURRRUUU!"

A beautiful voice came from the sky. "Knuckle, I do not object to you being in my fanfic."

Knuckle put his hands together, his eyes glistening as a smile stretched across his face.

"However, I have forgotten your power. So I'm going to kill you immediately, again."

"Wha-"

The Hisoka 2000 sat on Knuckle, drilling his body deep into its asshole. Then, it leaked three hundred million gallons of diarrhea, all absorbing into his hair.

The giant ass lifted, revealing his new hair. Pink and spiky. A new Hisoka had been created.

"That was a real ass pull!" shouted an anime connoisseur in the bushes.

"Read the manga, you noob!" Ging slammed his fist into the bushes, causing the connoisseur to level up into a first rate weeb.

"Of course, I understand now." The five hundred lbs man crawled out of the bushes, unable to stand, due to the massive weight of his ego. "If I read manga, I can get chicks. And after only fifty nine years of being a virgin!" He then died of a heart attack, because he pulled his favorite character in a gacha. "If only I hadn't eaten three sticks of butter between every meal!"

Everybody stared for a second, until Gon sensed Ging's presence.

His eyes waded through the pile of Hisoka's. "Target locked!"

He blasted the Hisoka 2000 to pieces. "GIIIIIIIIII-"

Ging bitch slapped him. "Didn't anyone teach you not to rehash plot points boy?"

Gon teared up. "You were never there fo-"

Ging snorted a line of cocaine off of Hisoka's back.

"Oh God, kill me!" Leorio slammed his head repeatedly into the ground.

"Oh ho ho. I'll help you out." Netero appeared in front of him.

"Yes please."

Netero approached Leorio, and as his face got closer, he felt Leorio's warm breath.

This caused all his limbs to fall off, then he spontaneously combusted, fell onto Leorio, and shit on his face for thirty straight minutes.

Gon had just finished crying, when he saw his dear friend Leorio suffering.

"Leorio's not my friend." Gon shrugged.

"AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" muttered Leorio.

Suddenly, Killua appeared in the bushes.

One of the many surviving Hisoka's narrowed his eyes. "My rival..."

"HEDGEHOG ATTACK!" Killua turned into an electric mouse, stabbing Leorio in the ball sack repeatedly.

Leorio wept softly as Killua served his balls to Hisoka on a kebab.

"Ew, is that middle aged man!?" He covered his face and slapped it out of Killua's hands.

"I'm nineteen!" Leorio shook his fist, which then betrayed him, punching him in the eye socket.

"Prepare to die Sonic!" Hisoka raised his fists.

"Godspeed!" Killua started running around with his arms behind his back.

Hisoka got dizzy, launched a barrel of cum at Leorio, then died.

"Ooo, I hate that hedgehog!" yelled Leorio.

Gon stared at Hisoka's lifeless body. As he examined it, he could be sure of just one thing. Hisoka wouldn't be able to pick him up a burrito grande from Taco Bell.

"You did good, son." Ging rested a cold drink on Gon's shoulder.

Gon chopped off his now frigid shoulder and handed it to him.

Ging was now written out of the story.

"I'm getting pretty sick of hobbling around in BDSM gear." Kuropika walked by casually.

"Why not change it?" asked Gon.

"Do you know how much the author has forgotten about me!?" He pointed at Leorio. "He knows more about this bitch."

Leorio continued guzzling feces.

Meanwhile, in the Ant Queen's basement. "Hey kids, anyone want some boiled human?" She toted out Kite's body parts on a platter.

"Not Kite again!" Pitou whined. "Can't we eat something that doesn't die and become disappointing immediately?"

"Well, we certainly can't eat your brothers then." The Aunt Queen glared at them.

Youpi raised his hands. "Don't look at me, I did my job."

Pouf raised his hands. "Don't look at me, I'm gay."

The Aunt Queen looked away. "You are indeed disgusting. "Pitou, eat them."

"Gross!" Pitou threw up onto Youpi, who threw up onto Pouf, who threw up onto Meruem's keyboard.

"AAAAAAAAGHGHSHAHAGAGAGAGAGASAAAAAAAAAAAQ!" Meruem launched the computer at his mother. "YOU JUST KILLED ME IN LEAGUE OF LEGENDS!"

"Oh dear, I'm sorry." The Aunt Queen sobbed.

"Whatever, I'm going to go hang out with Perfect Cell."

Meruem walked off, unknowingly getting trapped in a four hundred episode screaming match.

Later on, Cheetu would be elected the new Ant King. He then forced the entire kingdom to re-enact the events of Speed Racer, there were no survivors...

Somewhere on the other side of the world, rested a little wooden stand.

"Welcome to Zushi's Sushi!" Zushi handed out a grilled cheese sandwich.

A Razor Phone grabbed the sandwich. "Excuse me, how many balls does this sushi sandwich contain?"

"Um, none?"

Razor volleyball served his nutsack to Zushi's stand, causing the police to swarm around for pics.

"My domination is complete!" Wing sat in a stall beside Zushi's. Tentatively titled "Wing's Wings."

He high fived Plankton from SpongeBob.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Now that I've saved your restaurant, you can help me steal the Krabby Patty formula, and the crossover will be complete!"

Wing swallowed Plankton like an autismo. "Man, being Japanese is fucking disgusting."

Morel set a cardboard box down across the way. He fastened a sign to it that read. "Morel's Smokies."

"I've finally done it, I've become relevant in this fanfic again."

"gggggggggg"

He put his hand to his ear. "What was that?"

"ggggggggggg"

"I guess I'll just ign-"

"GGGGGGGGGGGGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!" Gon from chapter 1 smashed through the fanfic, obliterating Morel in an instant. He also delivered a burrito grande to present day Gon.

Zushi's Doomsday device also bled through the chapters. "Once I finally finish this device, I'll be the true Shonen protagonist."

Zushi from chapter 1 got punched in the sack and fell over, writhing in pleasure.

Fucking sick, the fuck does Wing do to this kid?

The Crazy Slots Hamster took control of the Doomsday Device. "No, I'll become the shitty OC all the one reader has been longing for."

The hamster began violently pushing buttons on the device.

"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" A head popped out of the hamster's urethra.

"No, no! Not the one human capable of defeating me!"

"That's right!" Tonpa, the gay faggot from the Hunter Exam's ejaculated himself out of the hamster. "And now I will destroy the world!"

"But how!?"

"With my glorious co-"

The hamster ate Tonpa and the fanfic ended.


End file.
